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How can I tell my child that he/she was conceived via egg donation?

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1 fertility expert(s) answered this question

How to share with your children that they were donor conceived?

If your child was conceived via IVF treatment using donor eggs and/or sperm, most fertility counselors recommend telling them as early as possible. Certainly, some children may be ready earlier than others and it is an entirely individual thing. However, we should be aware that no family secret is kept forever and it’s beneficial to start introducing your child to the idea before they are pre-verbal. The communication should be adjusted to the child’s development and understanding.  How to do it and what tools are available?

Answer from:
Fertility Coach Carmen Martinez Jover
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I believe in storytelling to share how your family was conceived. There are many books out there, loads of books so choose whichever you identify with or get several books. Use them and read them to your child. What happens is, first of all, you’re working on yourself, so whatever issue you have, not knowing what to share, how to share, it helps. And if you read it many times, it’s becoming easier to talk about the subject with your child.

With storytelling, the point is not to have the book as “the book” where I am sharing how my family was conceived and giving it that importance. The point is to make that book a fun book. You can have the book in a nappy bag, where they play and every time you hold that book, you laugh. So your child automatically knows that whenever you grab that book, you laugh, so it must be a fun book. And you can also teach them to observe, show them things and have them point out.

And, then, another tool I love sharing – make the book so special and teach them to read that book. Children memorize books immediately. So whenever you come to the letter ‘a’, you pause, you teach them to say ‘a’. When the letter ‘a’ comes, you nudge them to say ‘a’. Once they know ‘a’, you teach them ‘the’ and they start feeling they’re reading with you and, eventually, they will read with you.

I, personally, used storytelling to share with my daughter and I really believe in this technique.

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