Answer from: Carmen Martínez Jover
You’ve been struggling. It’s been a long journey to get here. You’ve got your beautiful baby in your arms. How old does my baby have to be before I tell them that she/he was conceived via egg donation?
You’ve got this beautiful love affair, you’re so in love, so much happiness – it overflows and you’re afraid of sharing. So at what age? You want everything to be perfect, a perfect moment. You don’t want to hurt your child so when am I going to tell my child how she/he was conceived? There are many studies done. In fact, there’s a book I really recommend “Modern Families” by Susan Golombok – an amazing woman who’s done all these studies and you can get all the information. Basically, it’s good to start before they go to school. If they find out afterward, there are many issues that they would need to go through. If you can avoid it, it would be much better. Speaking from the truth, speaking from love, feeling proud of how your family was formed.
I, personally, believe in sharing when they’re a baby. First of all, it helps you to start becoming familiar with sharing with your baby as they grow. It’s as if they always knew because they’re familiar with you talking about it. With techniques of story reading, you can gradually, as they grow, share it. I believe in doing it from the beginning and being really open and speaking from your heart.
When should I share with my child the news of their donor conception?
Telling your children about their donor conception origin should be a well-thought-out step and approached with lots of consideration, love and care. Our experts can help and guide you through this process explaining when and how it is best for you and the child to learn about their conception via egg donation.