Answer from: Becky Kearns
That is often a huge worry for people, especially where it is not a clear cut diagnosis. In my own experience, I have been through five cycles of IVF with my own eggs, I’d had a pregnancy with my own eggs which ended in miscarriage, so I was always thinking what if we gave it one more chance, what if we tried again. In some ways I just wanted someone to say to me, ‘do it, move to donor eggs and that’s what you need to do’, no one was really saying that. They were saying you could try this, it could give you a better chance. Really, for me making that decision was about redefining what it meant to be a mom. But also looking at the statistics as well and having been through five cycles with a five percent chance, I was then told I would have more than a fifty percent chance using donor eggs and I think I started to think a little bit more with my head and less so with my heart and thinking of what we really wanted: a family. Also what we could continue doing as well, We’ve been through so many cycles so emotionally it was incredibly difficult and we had to make that decision for our own sanity as well.
Being in the position that I am in now with three children through donor eggs, I don’t believe that once you’ve got that child in your arms you’ll ever look back and think what if I’d have tried again with my own eggs because you wouldn’t have that exact child that you’ve got right there and so its really difficult to put yourself in that place in the very beginning. But from the other side, I know that I wouldn’t change our girls for the world, so for me there are no regrets whatsoever in moving to donor eggs.
Do you regret using a donor egg?
Although most women have many concerns about accepting donor eggs, carrying a pregnancy, giving a birth and later on a taking care of baby – perhaps due to hormonal changes, changes all that worries and none of them regrets that decision.