Answer from:
Why is infertility so painful?
It has all the ingredients to be painful…
There is Grief and loss involved, even feelings of bereavement, emotions we may experience in subfertility.
Grief and loss show up in so many aspects of our lives:
From physical experiences such as pregnancy and birth, to belonging to the family tribe, loss of sexual intimacy and privacy, even the loss of our identity as human beings which may become fragmented…
There is a sense of lack of control in so many areas or our life.
What we are used to in western societies, is that when you try and work really hard for something, you usually achieve it. With Fertility this is not necessarily the case
It involves the unknown – leaving your comfort zone and stepping out in terra incognita. It is a life situation you never thought might happen to you! You don’t plan for sub-fertility!
So yes, it can be a painful experience.
And it can also be a great source of learning, exploring, building, and waterproofing yourself for future challenges you may face in your life.
What I aspire to inspire my families and couples to see differently, is to transform the experience of sub-fertility from a problem to a challenge and ultimately an invitation for growth and self-development.
It is such a meaningful life stage for anyone to explore further who she or he wants to be and for whom. It is a beautiful point in your life to deepen, enhance and to expand your relationships – with your partner, with your family, with your friends and new people you invite to your life but most importantly with your best and most loyal friend of all – yourself!
Answer from:
Infertility truly is one of the most painful things that you can go through in your life. There some studies have shown it to be similar levels of distress as going through a terminal illness. It’s really important that you don’t diminish the deep impact that infertility is having on you, and having on all areas of your life. Unfortunately, infertility affects your work, relationships, social life, sport, it affects how you eat, it affects everything and so that’s why it almost compounds the pain because it’s not just about infertility and how you feel around that, it’s all the impacts that it has on everything within your life.
I think having children from an evolutionary perspective is such a given, such an innate thing that when that is denied from you it’s such a source of pain. Then, when repeatedly around you other people are having children and potentially easily and naturally that can be again compounding that pain because it’s just surrounding you. There is no getting away from it. It’s really important to know what’s going to support you to journey through this better because the pain is there and unfortunately we can’t change infertility right now but we can change your response to it.
I’ve seen with my clients and my members in our app that there is a better way to go through this when you are supported and you have the right tools to support you to journey through this better. I encourage you to reach out for the support that you need, look for the things that are really going to help you to journey through this better.
Answer from:
Infertility is so painful for most people because it is something you are supposed to have, the ability to bring children into the world. It is something that is denied at the moment of diagnosis. A life crisis is triggered by the news.
The fact of basing virility/masculinity on the ability to procreate generates that when there are difficulties, identity crises appear and the self-concept is devalued.
Culturally it is something valued and its absence is a sign of inferiority, even shame. In fact, social pressure is one of the greatest challenges faced by people who are unsuccessfully looking for a baby.
Fortunately, with some specialised psychological therapy, the road will not be so painful.
